This is perhaps the third post I'm making for the film anime Kimi no Suizou wo Tabetai.. I'll be dropping this thought, or rather subject after this post.
Should one cry for a tragic heroine who lived a short but beautiful life?
It was revealed later in the film after her death, on her diary, of the different emotions, thoughts, she kept to herself. She was crying all along. She was worried. She was afraid. She was lonely. She didn't want to die after all but it can't be help. Sooner or later her death is foretold. She may have accepted it but she still wanted to live.
She didn't realized her relationship with Haruki because it would hurt both of them. Most will be inflicted from Haruki. She didn't want to leave anyone behind. And so she kept herself distant, even if what she did to Haruki was contradictory.
It's funny how she wanted to do "naughty things" with a stranger when that stranger somehow is getting more involved and more in love with her. I'd say after the two went to visit a hotel, they were no more strangers. Or rather after they went to the beach, they no longer were stranger. Or even before all that, that moment they started going together. They are no longer stranger. They have a connection. Yet, she's both too kind and afraid.
Her diary revealed all her thoughts. She was crying all alone when Haruki wasn't with him or rather when she was alone in the hospital bed. She wanted somebody to be with her. She was afraid. She was worried. She didn't want to die after all but she already accepted it.
Her cute dance, that Haruki saw, was a way of her to take off her worry. But what took most of her worry was when Haruki visited and talked with her.
She lived a contradictory short life. All too beautiful to be sad about.
But people, audiences, some or more, have said they cried. I don't get it. Then there are those who said that the film was ugly, too fast paced, I'd agree but then again, it was an amazing film. It may be too fast paced or rather not enough connection between the two characters were establish, still it was all too beautiful.
My professor once said, the most beautiful kind of love is one that never realized. Is this what he meant? There was more or less, no romance that happened between the two. Even though one or both of them wanted it to happen, they just didn't let it live.
Or am I just too immature to understand this? Or rather am I too mature to understand this?
-/_ -
I wonder what Sakura thought when she wasn't able to meet Haruki in the cafe. Did she felt that she lied to him? Did she felt regret that she couldn't see him for one last time? What did she felt? What did she thought?
Were she satisfied that it ended that way?
I want to picture it in my mind. I want to narrate it. I want to see what happened. But, it seems I can't. She may have cried but her picture of being cheerful is keeping it.
She may have been happy with that ending. She may have no more regret of what had happened. It was better that way.
In case they met, or in case their bond just somehow grew a bit longer, grew stronger. She might have much regret and sorrow when she die. Haruki would also be more hurt if that had happened.
As for the Firefly King.. he could've saved her but, perhaps the two may never knew other. Or perhaps the two may grow apart, estranged. Otherwise, the two may have a happily ever after.. Would that have been a good alternative for such beautiful story?
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