The Firefly Lament

A certain refreshing feeling, if I say so myself. I came back and relived two titles this week: one a book and another an anime.

Maturity and, somehow, change in outlook probably does the job. I've forgotten a few things then and then and I've get to know something was totally amissed, and so I re read, so I re watched.

The feeling was there, saved for the memory I once had for names and life of the characters written and made.

And another is that I've forgotten. I'm afraid I'm guilty of this long term consequence but I can't say I could redeem myself gor after all, my memory shines not too brilliantly as well others.

To have lived many few lives, seen far too few of the many worlds I allow myself to see. It is my innate sin to forget. How I wish I could just remember. But unlikely I would understand if I never went back..For that though, perhaps forgetting, has goodness for it to exist.

I do wonder though if some times in the future, eventually I once more have trouble remembering, would I still be able to come back and remember? Or would my memories be dead long before I die.

A firefly's monologue #29

"I chose a short life. And now I can't say for sure if I'm too happy about it. I wanted to do more, maybe not a lot more but I want, you know, maybe a little bit longer?"

"What would you feel if I tell you you're still due for yet a few more decade hence?"

"You mean I got more years before me?"

"Are you happy?"

"That wasn't the plan."

"But are you?'

"I just wanted to do a few more things, and that's it. Nothing more."

"Are you happy?"

"I can't say I'm not-"

"Regrets can really be too overwhelming."

"I just want to live long enough so I could be content about. I don't want a long life."

"But right now, to how you're doing, you aren't too happy about it. You want live more."

"Yes! I want to live more but not too long."

"Have you chosen how you would die?"

"Can I?"

"You've already decided a short life, why not choose how you'd end your short story?"

"I am no author."

"I'm always mesmerize by the light. So maybe one day I'll die burning."

"Are you not afraid?"

"How can one be afraid of death if one is already satiafied with how one lived?"

"What about leaving a great impact to this world? A certain kind of mark to remember you by. What about those who love you? Aren't you afraid for those?"

"Life will go on."

A firefly's monologue #28

"And there are those who did it as a promise. They love doing what they do. They have a burning passion for it. But as all candle wick expires, so does the fire in each and everyone's heart.

"Still, those who made sure to keep their promise continue on burning."

"Will they never tire?"

"Who said they never?"

"Would they quit by then?"

"They did, hundreds of thousands times. Still, they commit."

"Won't it be just a lost cause in case they kept on?"

"What else is there?"

"There are other things, I am sure of."

"There are but can they?"

"Then they will die for it."

"They have, there are many that have died for promises they want to keep. And those that couldn't have one way or another, died."

"There's still hope for the living."

"Do you think they don't know that? There are some who at night, before they sleep, cry and regret for what they have committed to. Some anguish that they could have been more."

"They couldn't."

"Some are too late. Some are just lost. And there are some that are just too committed to realize they could do something else."

"What happens once they fulfill their promise?"

"Much like finish reading a book. You read another."

A Firefly's Monologue #27

"But he still made hero works, right?"

"He continue to be a hero, despite all this."

"He gets hurt too, right?"

"He isn't invincible, and the worse still the pain he'd feel when he sees or hears the onlookers. The ones he is trying to save."

"Does he not regret it? Is he not mistaken?"

"Does heroism demand it answered?"

"To himself it does."

"Heroism, in essense, is a thankless job. You get to see people happy, thankful they are saved. And comes next back to their old lives. Nothing happens."

"Being a hero then is not worth it?"

"Should it have any worth?"

"Why else would heroes want to be hero if they cannot improve the lives of people?"

"Their own government are tasked to do that. Heck, themselves should do that. Heroes aren't and must not be bothered by this."

"Heroes save lives, right?"

"Yes they do."

"Is it not part of it at the core of it all they inspire people to be better? Should they not inspire people?"

"What would the hero do then?"

"Make a better world. Am I not right?"

"Heroes by that definition should all definitely take up governance if that's the reason."

"Shouldn't he somehow make a big impact? If not,then what else should heroes do?"

"To be themselves. A hero cannot always be a hero. He cannot save everyone."

"Is it not too selfish? Won't it all just a big waste?"

"To save one self, it isn't. It never will."

Dahon Ko'y Pluma #1

Mananatili ang watawat

sumasagwan sa ahon

na hanging dumadaloy,

hihindi ang nagmamatyag

magpapakumbaba ang araw

sisikat ang buwan

mga mata'y kukulimlim

sagisag na patay

na ang pusong

hindi muli magmamahal.

To the last letter

You wanted one that is both fulfilling and leaving you content. You're happy, right? It's what you wanted, right? There you go.

Everything you want, up to the last letter.

Tedious Routines

Then comes a point when you'll get tired of singing more beautiful song. The same song will be tedious as they will be routine but that'll be called your hobby, somethibf you can be proud that you do, but never what you wanted.

You wanted to make greater miracles, right? The same with many love songs and sad songs you want others to be saved with. If you need to hear it, yes, you're a savior. You've saved many lives.

But even still, it won't be enough to live a greater mark. You'll get used to it, I promise you. You not wanting to be remembered anymore. It gets tiring at a certain point, but enjoy what you do while you can still enjoy it.

The bigger dream you once had, will one day become small, to a point that only a certain few would notice, be moved and realize just how wonderful of a soul that you are. That you are a part of something.