Save one's self

It's okay to hurt others, if that's the only way to save your soul. I know the consciousness inside your heart will keep on shouting of the misdeeds yoy've done but that's alright.

In a cruel world we live in, self kindness is kindness too. And unfortunately, for those who want to uphold self imposed virtues, we have to be unapologetic for ourselves.

We are souls too, a part of the universe we all are in. And even if you deny whatever this principle you hold dear, you do not have to shatter your heart in order to do so.

Save yourself. Be angry if you have to. Speak up if you feel your voice is weak, shout if you have to. Shout in all unmonotonous tone that you have. Have the world, the whole universe, that you exists! That you matter too. You know what's essential and that includes yourself.

You can be kind always but it is grave sin to be unkind to yourself, most of the time.

Don't compromise if you feel you'll regret it. It will hurt. It will really bad, probably not somewhere in your chest but everywhere else it will. 

Please, please, please, save yourself. Don't deny yourself if you feel you're being overwhelmed. Don't push yourself over the edge. Don't lose yourself. You matter. You matter. You matter.

Convo Inside

"I'm tired. I mean, really really tired. Exhausted from all this fuck ups and shits we routinely have to deal with. Day by day, week after weeks. It gets too overwhelming, you know?

"It's not like I'm having trouble with anything but things just won't be easy."

"It will just keep harder."

"I know. It's just that. I don't know. I can't show them my frustrations. I can't have notice."

"So you have to keep up with this bravado? This silly charade, facade, you're dying just to keep up? Is that it?"

"I don't want them to lose heart."

"You might regret it one day. I'm just saying. What if one day you just break? What if one day you, out of the sudden, just couldn't handle it and just snap? What if one day, you're no longer you?

"Do you still see your self surrounded by them?"

"I don't know."

"You're slowly killing yourself. And the ones who truly treat you with most love and care, their purpose will be an outlet for your frustration.

"I know because I'm not and I know who you vent your bottled up fucks in you."

"I'm really a bad person inside. I get it."

"No, you don't. I think you're just hungry as fuck."

Communication, a short convo

"Why do people have to communicate with each other when in truth they just have ulterior motives.."

".. so you see-"

"In the end, once each other's use all dried up, they'd just be forgotten."

"Have your thought already gone astray from the stars we talk about? Or are you just wanting a soul to listen to you?"

"It just doesn't make sense."

"The gravity pulls each heavenly body in place-"

"What sense is there of talking when little to no action at all is meant done?"

"The heart overflows."

"Overflows?"

"We communicate with each other because we want to convey a message. Be it a question, from the most trivial of things: how was your work? Did you finish your work already? To the most essential: have you seen the rainbow yesterday, the one before the sun set?

"Your message might be teaching green soul to sprout greener leaves. You could be teaching the next Adolf Hitler some certain humanity. Or you might just be indirectly teaching yourself by teaching others.

"Or possibly, the message you want heard is just a simple direction. You know, for whatever purpose you want them done. Go and prepare dinner, it's already supper time. Go change your clothes, you don't want to get sick by wearing sweat soaked, rain soaked shirt. Go fix yourself a nice cup of coffee or tea if you prefer a gentler mood."

"From all that you've said, there's bound to be a single one or two that have motive behind each words."

"My dear friend, everything I just said have a motive behind them. Other than their meaning. Oh! If you could just see the strings as I am, you would certainly and clearly see the heart beneath each word."

"You keep saying heart? What does it even mean?"

"Communication is never just between two pairs of ears and a pair of mouth, or more. It is the way heart speak out to the soul."

"Your point exactly?"

"The heart beats, it is essential and invisible."

"And words that comes out of my mouth?"

"It is invisible and I for certain would not hold you little for you too is essential. So are the grass which blade caress the wind, the tides that gently places back the grains of sand that got washed away, and so too are the wind that carries certain dreamers' wishes to  faraway places."

"I still don't get it."

"As long as the message is understood, the communication is successful. If not, the heart just spilled all over.

"So about the stars, when do you think it will happen?"

"And about their motive?"

"Those aren't motives or meaning beneath you're understanding. It's your heart beating along theirs."

Medusa

"She was loved. But she had to go away. Else, everyone and everything would become stone."

"She did not have to look at them if she was loved. She did not have to be a monster-"

"Was she a monster? Did she have to look at them, with her eyes to theirs, for them to be stone? That was not the curse. It never was."

"What then was the curse?"

"To always lose the ones who loves her. Those who weeps for her will become stone."

"Weep for her? Why must people weep for her? Why must anyone one, or anything at that, weep for her?"

"The bards were told to lie. The bards were told a lie. And so a silly lie became a myth then a legends."

"Was she not evil, she's a monster after all?"

"She had to live up to the lie. After all, she was never evil."

The moths burn

We, so, hurry to the light, rush to it, fight for it, just to bask in all it's glory. Without, ourselves, realizing, the darkness in the path we have trodded. We are blind and deaf, and most of us unapologetic of our misactions.

But what of it, anyway, into the light, we will be cleanse. So long we be apathetic.

We won't be miserable about it. Instead, we would want it more. The desire for it grow stronger. Until finally, we fail to realize, we are not fireflies who carries light. We are but moths, aiming to burn ourselves.

It isn't salvation. No, it is repetence that we originally sought. If then, we would all have went farhter away to let the light grow; to let it have room, so everyone may.

The world hears

and it listens.

Will you be writing again?

I suppose..

Poetry #188

You're in love again,

are you not?

You never have to say

or be aware,

You just are.

Like you always do.

Sooner or later,

perhaps now,

You're feeling it.

The pain that comes after.

2021 #1

"From here on, it will just get harder and harder. You've been here before, many times over, countless of times. And here you are still. Are you not-

"At this point, I believe, you're doing it on purpose. It gets painful, you know? You remember it, do you? You're going to cry, sooner or later."

"I'm not in love."

"Lied the honest man who fails miserably at lying."

"But I really am not."

"That's what you said before too. And afterwards, you get hurt and cry."

"But I'm not-"

"Yes, you are."

"I'm in love?"

"Who isn't? But unlike you. You're wasting it."

"I'm in love?"

"You don't really know, do you? You're unaware of it, are you not?"

"I don't know."

"It's simple. You're afraid to get hurt and so you don't."

"I'm not."

"And your fear of getting hurt is hurting you just as bad. The world conspires and you ignore the signs and miracles.

"If you keep at it. It will just hurt a lot more. Maybe one day, you won't take it anymore and you'd just go dive head first. I just hope it's heart that breaks and not your head."