The sad clown

The clown sat on the pedestal. After the show he was lonely like he always do. The lions and elephants were back to their cages and tents. The jugglers, magicians and the beast tamers where either drinking away their time and restlessly sleeping. The manager, though often times walking here and there, was always in his own trailer. Most likely counting the profit and pay as well the taxes and expenses.

All of them were busy in their own world. So do the clown who quietly sat on the pedestal.

In middle of the stage and on top of his little pedestal, the clown both cried and laughed. He was thinking of the many events that have happened both in the busy evenings as well the years that have passed by.

His hair and eye were turning grey. Often time does his body would just want to lay die and sleep. His only drive was to see another day of people laughing. He wanted to bring joy to the people around him and everyone around the world. That was all.

But it all became a routine. Sometime like a burden and no more something to look forward to. He lost his desire to keep on a while back. And it was too late for him to have realized that.

He desires to make the world happy no more. What saddens him was that it was his dream and now he no longer wants it.

"Have I been living my dream far too long that it was too late to realized that my dreams were all to trivial, superficial and meaningless? What should have I dream of to satiate my desire? I wanted to make the world happy, I wanted to make it smile. But after living such a quite a long time, I found it to be useless.

"Not something worth to lived for. I made a mistake," the clown said as tears started to fall of his cheeks. The maskara on his face are changing. The clown looked more hideous as his face paint gradually wore off. He looked ugly. Yet he doesn't care. He was sad. His dream was ugly. That was what he cared for at that moment.

He doesn't want it to be ugly. But at that moment, it does seemed to him.

"It's all too late now for me to change path. I'll live and die as a pathetic and useless clown. Nothing more.

"I regret being a clown," he said as he wiped off completely his maskara. Revealing someone else beautiful.