This blog is getting lonely

Perhaps that's the consequence of my inactivity. But who am I kidding, I know that only a handful of people are going here or perhaps not even a single soul but me. Well, anyway, hopefully I'll continue this ghost (as in ghost town) blog,

Lately, I've been noticing that my vocabulary is getting dull, another consequence of inactivity in thought. But I'm also noticing that I'm thinking of a lot of things. Mostly about love, but as of now, I know it shouldn't concern me, then about the future. Speaking of which, I wonder what future I'll be in, I'm still think of what shape I'll mold my future or if I should even consider molding it. I just feel lazy, there's no more motivation for me anymore. I guess, that's how this blog's feel. Good thing I can feel it.

Loneliness. Unmotivated. No future. Melancholy.

I doubt I'll be a great writer someday, I stopped writing a long time ago and now that I'm getting idea of what to write, I got this... ... ... ... ... mental.. block?? whatever, that hinders me to write. Perhaps I'm thinking in my second mind that no one would read what I'll write, while I was thinking of what to write. Mind-ception!!

No future mode. It's a mode in a Sony Playstation 1 platform. Legend of Mana, where every enemies life point is immensely boosted. And no I'm not advertising. It's just how I feel right now, every little things feels so heavy because I lack something to move me. The first mover, according to... whoever philosopher that is, Aristotle perhaps, seems to be...well I have faith but not much, I just keep myself open for opinion. But that same openness leads me to doubting. Now I wonder what I should believe. But I shouldn't go to topics such as religion. It's such a messy train of thought. Same as philosophy, politics and ethics, all of this are mess trains but I do enjoy sitting inside of them. Not most of the time though.

Now, what's the purpose of this post, I wonder?

What's the purpose of my life? What's the purpose of every story I made? Every poem I've written? Every laugh I've exhaled? Every tear I've cried? Every failure I made? Every hope I failed? Every questions I've answers (mostly are wrong, btw)? Every songs I've heard and cried on? Every chances I passed? Everything... what's the purpose of it all?

Nah... seems I'm just lonely.

P.S.
If you find this post irritating, that's you're problem ^/_ ^

P.S.S
I miss everyone.

P.S.S.S.
Not really, I just miss someone